


Swing and a Miss

by Dokuhan



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feelings Realization, Friendship, M/M, Past Character Death, Pre-Slash, Present Tense, Underage Drinking, post-season 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-28 04:43:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17176127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dokuhan/pseuds/Dokuhan
Summary: “Have you ever heard that phrase, ‘you’ll never hit the ball if you don’t swing?’”“I think it’s ‘you miss every shot you don’t take.’”“Same difference.”





	Swing and a Miss

**Author's Note:**

> I haven' watched s8 yet. Like at all. I just know spoilers but like...nah. So sorry if details are wrong, but I had an idea and I wanna run with it.

“Have you ever heard that phrase, ‘you’ll never hit the ball if you don’t swing?’”

Keith barely looks up, his head too hazy and eyes too heavy to really find the effort worth it. Lance sounds like he’s slurring a bit, probably because of that bottle they swiped from the Atlas galley. It had been a gift from the leaders of some planet with a name filled with syllables human tongues can’t replicate and something about it vaguely reminds him of the cheap box wine cadets would sneak into the Garrison. It’s not strong, like at all, but he guesses Lance has never actually had alcohol before so it’s probably affecting him a bit more.  Or maybe being Galra means that he has a stronger constitution, who even knows anymore.

“I think it’s ‘you miss every shot you don’t take,’” he finally answers, even though it’s not really one at all.

“Same difference,” Lance mumbles back, “I keep think-” he pauses, like he’s trying to hold back a hiccup or maybe because his voice cracked a little and he wants to cover it up. His voice seems a little huskier when he starts again, “I wonder if I could have done something differently.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, like…what if I hadn’t been such a little chickenshit and said something sooner? I mean, I probably didn’t have a chance, but…” he shifts around, maybe sitting up or rolling onto his side, Keith can’t really see from where he’s lying on the floor, “What if I’d told Allura I liked her sooner? Or got my act together a little quicker?”

Keith tilts his head back just a bit, and now he can see that Lance actually is sitting – knees to his chest with his arms thrown over them. He wants to say that it’s kind of stupid to speculate that kind of stuff, that Allura probably would have flat out rejected him or at least politely brushed him off. He’s not even sure if Allura truly loved Lance in the end, because now there’s no way any of them would’ve ever known and it’s not like he’s really sure how true love works in the long run anyway. Still, he finds himself responding, “I don’t know…”

“I just…I don’t…even if she’d said ‘no’…” this time, Lance’s voice _does_ crack, “She could have said ‘yes’ too. Like, we could have both just been waiting for the right moment or not realized that we could have put it together ourselves,” the words seem to get more strained as he keeps going, but it comes out like a waterfall, “Or maybe if she did say ‘no’, maybe it would have been different later on or she would have understood that I really meant it.”

“That would have been awkward though…”

“I-I know…yeah, I know that but, like,” Lance sniffs hard, and he just sounds so broken, defeated, and unlike himself, “At least she would have known. Something could have happened,” he chokes, and oh, there are suddenly tears streaming down his face, “I just wasted so much time, Keith.”

And at that moment, Keith realizes that he doesn’t know what to do. He’s never been in this kind of a situation, no one has ever cried in front of him. Even when Shiro and Adam had broken up, there hadn’t been tears – just frustration and anger.  He kind of wishes Hunk was here, since he was supposed to be there but never showed up for some reason.

He fumbles his way onto his knees, walking on them to get closer. From there, though, he doesn’t know what to do. First, he tries to reach his hand out for Lance’s shoulder, then he pulls back. He wonders if he should lean in for a hug, but that just feels wrong. When he tries to say something consoling, he can’t think of anything, so he just settles for what feels best.

“I’m sorry…” It feels insignificant. Cheap. But, he genuinely is. They’ve been through so much, but in the end, it feels like they came back with nothing to really show for it.

Lance shakes his head, wiping his own tears away, “I just haven’t stopped thinking about it. My parents, they get it, but like…I don’t think they really do? Dad said that eventually things like this stop hurting as much and you kind of move on, but…” he shrugs.

“Yeah, I get it…” Keith moves to sit down, lotus style, “when my dad died, I thought I was never going to get over it. It’s still probably different with someone like Allura, though.”

“I think I expected it to feel different, like part of me was ripped away, but…” his fingers reach up to touch the blue marking on his right-side face, “it feels like a weight is constantly pressing against me. Like there’s this constant reminder that I didn’t _do_ enough. I think she was it for me, dude.”

“You’re not even 20 yet…you don’t have to feel that way.”

“No, no – you don’t get it. She was _it_ for me, she was _the one_ and I guess,” his fingers continue to trace over the mark, “I’m okay with that. I loved Allura a lot…I just regret that I didn’t have more time with her.”

Keith feels something ache inside of him at that moment, it’s not longing or sympathy but something different. Almost as if on some level, he’s built this connection with Lance. He’s put into words something Keith felt, but couldn’t put a name to. He runs his thumb over the scar on his cheek. “Do you really think you would have done things differently? Even if there was a chance she would have told you no?”

“Yeah, because there was always a chance she could have said yes.”

* * *

Shiro isn’t even sure why he said yes to going out with Curtis. It wasn’t even a real date, since they were still deep in the far reaches of the galaxy, just a meal together in the galley to test the waters.

To him, it felt awkward – like he was trying to put together a model that just wouldn’t come together the right way. Curtis was sweet, dedicated to his job, and vaguely reminded him of Adam when things had been good. Maybe with some time, once they got to know each other, things would feel more natural. He just forgot how hard dating was in the beginning.

He sighs and cards his fingers through his hair, still reeling from the conversation as he walks back to his room. He only stops when he notices Keith standing just outside the door, looking like he’s debating whether he should knock or not. “Hey, you okay?”

Keith jumps a little bit, but turns to face him, “Are you just getting back? Sorry, I didn’t want to bother you.”

“It’s not a problem…I know we haven’t been talking much, but you’re never a bother, really.”

“Ah, yeah. We really haven’t.” Keith rubs the back of his neck, “I…actually, I do need to talk to you about something. It can wai-” he shakes his head, “No, it can’t wait.”

“Is something wrong? Are you okay?” Shiro looks him over a bit, furrowing his brow.

“Just give me a second, it’s kind of hard to say. Can we go inside?”

“Yeah, of course,” he moves to open the door, letting Keith in first before following, “Do you want to sit?”

“No, it’s fine.” Keith paces the room, wringing his hands a bit before taking a breath. “I just need to say something, and I need you to let me finish, okay?”

“Um, okay? Sure…” Shiro takes his own advice and sits down at the edge of his bed. When Keith doesn’t speak for a few moments, he pushes down the urge to fill in the silence.

Keith takes another breath, stands in front of him, “I was talking to Lance earlier. Well, not really talking, but…” he waves his hand, “he’s been really upset since…Hunk and I were going to cheer him up, but Hunk never showed so I had to handle it.”

“Okay…?”

“And then he started saying all of this stuff, about Allura and wishing he’d done more. He was really broken up about it, and I didn’t know what to do…so I-”

“Comforted him?” And something about _that_ , the vagueness of it, curls under Shiro’s skin. It’s something he’s tried to avoid for so long, so he can’t help but want to jump to conclusions. He wants to open his mouth again and offer Keith advice because _clearly_ this is some kind of confession about not knowing how to handle his own feelings.

Before any of that can happen, Keith grabs the sides of his head and looks him dead in the eyes, “I told you to let me finish. I know you’re stubborn, but I can be just as stubborn as you so _let me finish_.”

“Sorry…”

“I talked with him, and he made me realize a few things.” Keith sighs again, lets his hands drop, “I’m always going to wind up regretting something, Shiro. That’s just the way it goes, but I don’t want to live with this giant question mark over my head or feel like I’ve just thrown away any chance I’ve ever gotten” His fingers curl against the shoulders of Shiro’s jacket.

When it dawns on Shiro, he brings his hands up to cover Keith’s own, “You don’t have to say it if it’s too much.”

“No. I do have to say it, I’m tired of neither one of us wanting to take the next step.” Keith’s voice shakes a bit, but he schools it steady, “I’m scared, Shiro. I’m scared about what’s going to change when I finally tell you or that none of this is going to work out and I’m going to lose my best friend. I’m terrified about the idea of losing you again, that’s why I have to do this.”

Shiro tightens his hold and takes a deep breath of his own, “Okay. So just do it.”

Keith bites his lip, but presses his forehead to Shiro’s nonetheless, “I’m in love with you. I’ve loved you for so long, but somehow it became more than that. I don’t just want to be friends.”

“It’ll be hard. People will say things since we’ve known each other so long…”

“I don’t care, they can say whatever they want. We saved the universe, they can go suck it.”

Shiro can’t help but laugh at that, “Yeah, you’re right.” He motions for Keith to sit next to him on the bed, before bringing his hand up to the back of Keith’s head, “I don’t know if I can say it yet…”

“It’s fine if you don’t feel the same way.”

“No, it’s not that…” he sighs, “I’m so messed up, Keith, especially after all of this. I never wanted to bog you down with all of this, you deserve someone with less baggage.”

“Uh, newsflash, I have baggage too.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s stupid. Didn’t you say I was stubborn?” Shiro shook his head, “But, maybe it makes sense now. I think the idea of not having you in my life is worse than maybe hitting a few bumps along the way. It’s going to be a lot of work, though…”

“If there’s anything we have now, it’s time. We can thank Allura for that.”

“So, we can take it one day at a time?”

“As long as it takes.”

**Author's Note:**

> And then Shiro joined the BoM with Keith and they traveled space together forever. The end.
> 
> Thanks to @whoopdeedoont on Twitter for betaing!


End file.
